Hello everyone!

My mother always told me that we’re all death’s children. I never understood it until I started analyzing what she meant by it. She meant that we start aging and therefore dying little by little from the very minute we’re born. She also told me that no one is ever spared and we should all make of life the very best of it.

Yesterday I was sitting at the market talking to my boss and he shared some sad news with me. The beautiful little girl whom I had blogged about took her life 2 weeks ago. After a tragic series of events took place, she ended up taking her own life.
My jaw hit the floor when my boss told me, I mean… I haven’t exactly dealt with too many people dying in my lifetime, and I had really hoped to see her again.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how if I had been closer to her, I could’ve somehow stopped it… Yes, my codependent nature kicked in and I have not been able to sleep all night. I mean, she was 17, gorgeous, troubled by her Bipolar Disorder… But full of life and in need of guidance.

I can’t stop thinking I could have cheered her on and encouraged her to smile, or perhaps just have a dorky conversation with her… I believe I have been blessed (or cursed sometimes) with the ability of making people laugh. I could have told her all about my struggles, my battle with codependency, and to just be thankful that the sun shines down up on her beautiful face daily… I too, have toyed with the idea of taking my life and I believe everyone at some point does too. The difference though, is that I have someone to live for: my little boy. I think when people don’t feel like they have anything to live for, then they don’t feel any connection with life itself and want to walk away from it.

Nevertheless, not only do I feel the remorse of not having known her better and maybe being there for her, but I’m also angry at life… Some people go through life hurting others: cheating, stealing, drugging and are alive and kicking!… On the other hand, we have this precious angel, whose life was so complicated and mind was so troubled by her very own condition, that she couldn’t go on any longer and decided to put an end to it all.

I can’t believe and do not wish to imagine what it would be like to finding your child, your own flesh and blood, no longer living.

May all the angels, archangels, and all the spirits of light protect this gorgeous being and give her the healing and strength she so longed for while living.

Above all, may God bless you my child. You touched many lives, including mine. I will never forget the conversation we had that day and out embrace before you walked out of the shop.
“Keep your chin up, baby girl… There is always something awesome waiting for you to find it.”

Thanks for reading & buenas noches,

-Wen